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How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 1

How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 1

 

Warning: There are high levels of sarcasm throughout this blog post. Please proceed with caution.

It is officially the most wonderful time of the year! It was all fun and games until I opened up my wallet only to find a few coins, a Forever 21 gift card with a balance of $1.47, and many empty pockets where cash should’ve been (but I mean who is really surprised). Yes, I know the holidays are not about money, but having a couple of bucks can definitely make life easier. Don’t even try to argue that. So instead of having a single item for “what’s unique this week”, I’ve decided to change things up a bit. I am going to show you how to holiday with a college student budget… featuring decorations!!! Wahoo!!!

My attempt to set the stage: 

It’s November 2nd. Halloween is over. Your content suddenly fades. You notice your neighbors putting up..what is that..wait..what is th-OHMYGOD IT’S A REINDEER. NO. IT CAN’T BE. PLEASE NOOOO. You carelessly spent all your money on this one holiday without realizing Christmas is right around the corner (less than 8 weeks now ahhhhhhh). What do you do? You lay on the floor confused, crying, begging for mercy… all hope is lost…and….BAM! I crash through your door (heroically) and save the day. 

How did I save the day you might ask?

Well, child, here is the answer to that great question:

unnamed-17

 1) FIND YOUR HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS AND ASSESS WHAT YOU’VE GOT.

GOT NOTHING? WELL, I GUARANTEE YOUR LOCAL STORE HAS SOME BAD ASS HALLOWEEN SALES GOING ON RIGHT NOW. GOOOO.
THIS PICTURE IS OF ME JUST HAPPILY HOLDING SOME JUNK!

 2) TIME TO GET TO WORK

  • I STACKED 3 WHITE PUMPKINS VERTICALLY.
  • I USED THIS MAGICAL (AND QUITE HANDY) SUBSTANCE CALLED SUPERGLUE TO CONNECT THEM.
  • I PLACED A SNAZZY HAT ON THE TOP PUMPKIN.
  • AND TA-DAH A SNOWMAN!!!!!! (SORTA)

swefwsergfregf

  •  YOU SEE THAT SKELETON HEAD IN THE FIRST PICTURE?
  • WELL, I PUT A B-E-A-UTIFUL SANTA CLAUS BEANIE OVER IT.
  • ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT *PIERS MORGAN VOICE*
  • THE MOUTH IS KINDA CREEPY, BUT YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.
unnamed-14
  • CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WAS ONCE A WITCH HAT?
  • INCREDIBLE, I KNOW.
  • I BASICALLY TOOK A WITCH HAT AND PAINTED IT LIKE SANTA CLAUS.
  • SO FRICKIN’ CLEVER.
  • NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW THIS CAME FROM THE HALLOWEEN AISLE.unnamed-16
  • THIS SIGN ONCE READ “BEWARE OF ZOMBIES”
  • BUT WITH THE HELP OF SOME NOTEBOOK PAPER, A RED MARKER, AND TWO PIECES OF TAPE… LADIES AND GENTLEMEN *CLEARS THROAT*  WE NOW HAVE OURSELVES A CHRISTMAS DECORATION.
  • IT’S ORIGINAL! IT’S ONE OF A KIND! NO ONE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU BOUGHT THIS WORK OF ART! NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND HOW A COLLEGE STUDENT CAN AFFORD SOMETHING SO EXPENSIVE AND HIGH-CLASS!
    unnamed-15

     3) TIS’ THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY (AFTER CASUALLY CELEBRATING THANKSGIVING)!

     I’m sure this blog post saved 1, 2, maybe 420 lives. I hope I have made the holidays a little less stressful for you all!

    Phase One of “How to Holiday” is complete.

     



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    Jewish Rabbis have publicly announced that their Messiah will be revealed in the coming years who will be a leader and spiritual guide to all nations, gathering all religions under the worship of one God. They deny Jesus as their Messiah, and the Bible tells us this Jewish Messiah will be the counterfiet that will bring about a false peace, and ultimatley the great tribulation.

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  • Hey, how’s it going?

    I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!

    In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the captial of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.

    Jewish Rabbis have publicly announced that their Messiah will be revealed in the coming years who will be a leader and spiritual guide to all nations, gathering all religions under the worship of one God.

    Biblical prophecy tells us that this Jewish Messiah who will take the stage will be the antichrist “who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4). For a time, he will bring about a false peace, but “Therefore when you see the ‘abomination of desolation,’ spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place (Matthew 24:15)…then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be” (Matthew 24:21).

    “Little children, it is the last hour; and as you have heard that the Antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come, by which we know that it is the last hour” (1 John 2:18).

    “The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (2 Thessalonians 2:9-12).

    More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically in Revelation 13:16-18:

    “He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.”

    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. This Mark couldn’t be spiritual because the word references two different physical locations. If it was spiritual it would just say in the forehead. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

    “Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we needed two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.

    Visit http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM to see proof for these things and why the Bible trul is the word of God!

    If you haven’t already, it is time to seek God with all your heart. Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. He wants to have a relationship with you and redeem you from your sins. Turn to Him and repent while there is still hope! This is forever…God bless!

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  • Hey, how’s it going?

    I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!

    In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the captial of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.

    Jewish Rabbis have publicly announced that their Messiah will be revealed in the coming years who will be a leader and spiritual guide to all nations, gathering all religions under the worship of one God.

    Biblical prophecy tells us that this Jewish Messiah who will take the stage will be the antichrist “who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4). For a time, he will bring about a false peace, but “Therefore when you see the ‘abomination of desolation,’ spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place (Matthew 24:15)…then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be” (Matthew 24:21).

    “Little children, it is the last hour; and as you have heard that the Antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come, by which we know that it is the last hour” (1 John 2:18).

    “The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (2 Thessalonians 2:9-12).

    More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically in Revelation 13:16-18:

    “He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.”

    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. This Mark couldn’t be spiritual because the word references two different physical locations. If it was spiritual it would just say in the forehead. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

    “Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we needed two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.

    Visit http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM to see proof for these things and why the Bible trul is the word of God!

    If you haven’t already, it is time to seek God with all your heart. Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. He wants to have a relationship with you and redeem you from your sins. Turn to Him and repent while there is still hope! This is forever…God bless!

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