And this is how my blog is revitalized. I experienced a drought in my life.. my desire to write shriveled. I did not entirely lose myself, but I did forget a piece of myself. Misplaced most likely. Somewhere. So I planted some blue flowers. Promise to forget-me-not.

documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit



(Hi, my name is Riley and I am traveling the nation to find YOU the world’s BEST avocado toast.


My unconditional love for fruit (YES IT IS A FRUIT) and my desire to understand the universe has led to me to this new stage in my life. What can I say, I am an avocado enthusiast, expert, and proud consumer, thus I knew I had to commence this journey of enlightenment.

Furthermore, I’ve discovered that famous people get to eat STELLAR food all of the frickin’ time. && here I am having to casually grab 50000 mints (a months worth of dinner for a broke college student) whenever I go to a semi-fancy, mostly mediocre restaurant. Okay, okay, I need a chill pill.. I know. (& no this is not code for some psychedelic drug mom). Buuuttt I’m just too riled up because A V O C A D O S. Aye stop judging you judgmental readers.

I just reread this post & I honestly sound like a neurotic freak. Ha. Oopsies?


*Dignity rolls away into the sunset*

Anywho, the point of this adventure is to help you kiddos out. All of these memes on Twitter about millennials spending their retirement money on overpriced avocado toast makes me quite emotional– the truth is painful lemme tell yuh. Soooo, my goal is to find the perfect avocado toast. Like so god damn prime that your mouth melts from happiness & you suddenly becoming willing to take out a loan if it means having such an enticing meal again.


Y’all ready for this?

Bomp bomp-bomp
Bomp bomp-bomp, bomp-bomp bomp-bomp
Bomp bomp-bomp, bomp-bomp bomp-bomp
Bomp bomp-bomp, bomp-bomp bomp-bomp
Bomp bomp-bomp, bomp-bomp bomp-bomp

Today’s Special Guest: Better Buzz Coffee- located in San Diego, CA

DAY 1- 7:03 a.m.

I can recall the basic bitch sensation that ran through my veins as I walked through the doors of Better Buzz Coffee.

“Pssshhh hell nahh, I am waaay too hipster to take a picture in front of the ‘Life’s Better Buzzed’ wall.”

So I took this insanely arty, candid, tumblr-worthy, snazzy jazzy photo instead


I ordered the Killer Bee (which was quite lovely) with some…

wait for it…

wait for it……….

wait for it…………………..

AVOCADO TOAST *insert young children cheers*

Here is an outline of my observations:

  1. Very neat with an excellent, precise cut down the middle.
  2. The use of seeds (sesame, chia, & hemp WHOA MAN TRIPLE THREAT) & microgreens was definitely a smooth move by the cook.
  3. The avocado had been smashed & evenly spread with grace.
  4.  The toast was the thick french toasty kind, providing the avocado with steady support. I prefer my toast dark, so next time I would ask for it burnt.
  5. The lemon & wood board gave the presentation just the right amount of zest.unnamed (73)

Overall, it was absolutely worth the investment. Also, it is photogenic, making it a ravishing addition to your Instagram story.

Until next time,

Riley “Ri Bread” Irwin

World Class Avocado Toast Critic



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *