I have planted some flowers on my blog.
Some Recent Stuff
What better day to hold a job interview than on Black Friday? What better place than in line for your favorite store? What better time to come up with a company in general? That’s what I’m saying!
Okay, so you’re going to meet my parents. Take a deep breath. You’re good. “Just be yourself” hahahha LOL that’s a lot easier said than done. I know. Trust me, I know. Spray that lavender all over you—you’ve got this.
I am an expert when it comes to going HARD. Especially in the summer. Woot woot.
Yes, I am here today, as a long-time hopeless romantic with an astoundingly low success rate, to hand over some GUARANTEED to work advice.
I’d like to dedicate this post to the nine dudes I humiliated myself in front of. Thank you for taking one for the team & I apologize if it caused any emotional damage. What can I say… I fuck up a lot. *shrugs*
THIS DOGGO IS ABOUT TO DRIVE THE TRUCK HAHAHAH NOW DON’T BE STRESSED YUH SILLY GOOSE THIS IS TOO FUNNY TO BE STRESSED LIKE IMAGINE IF YOU SAW HIM IN THE LANE OVER
Ri’s coming your way with AHH-MAZZINNGG tips– as usual. This week’s topic is *drum roll* STRESS!
Came upon this little piece I scrambled up in the notes on my phone a while back– oh Ri.
First impressions are everything. But are they really? What about last impressions? What about the impression YOU made last night when you strolled into the party? Champagne glass resting in your hand. Shoulders back. Posture straight. Graceful gestures. Delicate smile & all. The last idea […]
I did what any smart girl would do: 1) cry on the toilet 2) take a bad ass selfie 3) leave all that shit where it belongs– in the public restroom & FUCK IT.
If you haven’t played Monopoly before, then you probably aren’t going to get my references.
I’m an expert. What more is there to say? Nothing aye. So check out this blog post because I can make your crush tolerate you. If not, you can brawl with me (stool & Irish pub not included) Buuuttt it’s a money back guarantee!
Well, kids. Hello. Hey. Hi. Here’s some thoughts of mine regarding walking. It took a lot of thinking if you can’t tell by my featured image, which is me sitting on a stool, sipping a blueberry milkshake, deep in thought (& possibly staring at a cute dog-o).
Are you a neck banger like me? Do you wake up & cry every morning because you whipped a bit too hard the previous night? I’ve got a training plan for you. Aye.
The wise words of a regular… might be a waste of your time, but hey, they might alter your perception forever. Never know.
Are you with me? Okay, I want you to close your eyes with me on the count of three & as soon as you can’t see a thing, I’m going to ask you to open your mind & see everything. Okay, one, two, thr-wait. CRAP. Scratch that. Open those eyelids, so you can read my post!!
I’m in a coffee shop. Black & no room. There I typed away for 36 minutes. & I’m sure you can figure out what sort of blog post came from another one of my sporadic ((aka unorganized& discombobulated)) revelations….
Us athletes are extraordinary creatures. We are insane. We are passionate. We are mentally & physically strong. Yet here we find ourselves vulnerable to the limitless horizons.
YOU have been selected to receive two free passes on a totally legitimate cruise! This is not a scam. I repeat, this is NOT A SCAM! Click the link below to receive a special email with your special tickets because you were chosen with a […]
Tori takes the stage & reveals the PERFECT ways to make your local baristas suffer…& what’s more fun than being a high-maintenance customer? Am I right or am I right?
47 minutes spent sitting at my computer + sipping Colombian coffee (after my whopping 48 hour cleanse from coffee) + people watching at Elevate Coffee Company (no dogs sighted sadly) + numb legs that fell asleep because I was cross-legged on the floor (had to stay in reach of the plug) = this. See I am still pretty okay at math after not taking it for over 2 years now. Ya man.
Step up your cakin’ game. Steal my idea. I dare ya. Know who originally came up with the fidget spinner? Exactly.
HOW TO WIN OVER THE HEART OF THAT GIRL YOU LIKE BUT AREN’T SURE IF SHE LIKES YOU BACK SO YOU DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO TAKE A RISK & MAKE A MOVE OR INSTEAD JUST WAIT A BIT LONGER TO SEE HOW THINGS GO TO AVOID MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF YOURSELF BUT IT REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DAMN COMPLICATED
& here we are. Here we are trusting complete strangers over something you’ve spent & will continue to spend your entire life with.. your own body, your own self.
Famous chef Riley Irwin sweeps the nation in search of the world’s best avocado toast.
I love you. Was that too soon? I apologize if so. But here I am. Here I am sitting cross-legged in a coffee shop, sipping my 12 oz black coffee (as you might have expected), & reflecting. ‘Tis what I do. & I am sure […]
You know, it makes me really sad to see so many posts about failed diet & work out attempts & the unhappiness that has come with dedicating all of one’s time to this supposed “lifestyle“. *Anderson Cooper eye roll* Anyone who knows me well, knows […]
Hey everyone! These last few days, you could catch my other half & I scampering around the Pacific Coast (which I initially thought stood for “Peanut Butter” shhh don’t tell anyone). & we were being somewhat reckless by not putting on much sunscreen or drinking […]
Becoming healthy is the most unhealthy thing I’ve ever done. Low blood pressure. Check. No diseases. Check. Normal cholesterol. Check. Low heart rate. Check. Not overweight. Check. 20/20 vision. Check. Athletic. Check. Adequate sleep. Check. Hydrated. Check. Did you eat your fruits and vegetables today? […]
Yes, college in fact changes us children emotionally & mentally. Some of us experience transformations- sometimes in the upward direction of maturity & sometimes in the downward direction towards our graves (foreshadowing a young, imminent death). But what about the physical aspect????? Would you like […]
Summer break is your time to relax, yet still simultaneously be productive. It’s a time when you actually have time to get stuff done, but in a casual, stress-free manner. Throughout second semester, we all find ourselves saying “This summer I will…” or “When school […]
Put Riley alone in Macy’s for 23 minutes on a fine Sunday morning. &&& BUH-BAM. She randomly spits out wisdom.. or is it absolute crap..or could it possibly be her flesh-burning coffee?? Eh, I’m going to go with D) all of the above because I think at […]
Finals are here. & I am out. Yuh feel me? ‘Tis a rough period for most college students. I’m guessing your semester-long disillusionment is fading and you’re finally sober enough to realize your grades aren’t as superb as you last remember? Maybe you’re in a […]
THE DEHYDRATED, SLEEP DEPRIVED IR-TWINS WRECK THE ECO-FASHION SHOW FT. NO DRAMATIC FALLS ON STAGE OR WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS IN FLAG, AZ (ELEVATION 7000) & SORRY THIS TITLE IS SO ODDLY SHORT
Whoa whoa wait. Hold up. Riley’s not writing a blog post made up of nothing but sarcasm and bull shit?? What is this world becoming?? *confusion* *chaos* Unrecognizable. Well, two weeks ago (the night before Phx Lights), I was lucky enough to have the opportunity […]
The experience was absolutely indescribable. I can tell you that the euphoria took place Saturday and Sunday night last weekend, but that is it. Words can’t adequately explain April 8th and 9th of 2017. So why even bother trying? Anyone who has been to a […]
There’s nothing more euphoric than a taste of live music. Regardless of the size of the venue or the genre of music, hearing it in person is a one-of-a-kind experience. However, if we aren’t properly prepared for the obstacles that come with attending festivals and […]
Hello, my name is Riley and I am considered a regular at multiple coffee shops. Many baristas remember my order as soon as they see my face in line. Currently, I am cradling a cup of coffee in my hand. Dark roast is running through my veins. […]
My favorite part about California? Awhh thanks for asking. Well, to answer that question even though no one actually cares about my answer, I’d just like to say it’s the ride there. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know that sounds so god damn weird, but I […]
I wear shades inside public places so my fans don’t recognize me. As it says in my bio on my “About Me” page, which you probably haven’t read because I am not famous: “One of the first things I remember reading in a book on how […]
Do you ever make spontaneous decisions? I know for a fact that you know the insane ideas I am talking about. We all have them. But the question is… do you ever follow through with them? Well, my friends and I are crazy. Soooo we often […]
College is a learning experience. It is a zoo, a prison, & a luxurious spa vacation all compiled into one place (10 million miles long, 100 million buildings wide, & lacks any logical pattern of arrangement) for your convenience. There’s always a new face to meet, a […]
Putting together the perfect date to impress the perfect girl is probably more stressful than that time you cried in 15 minute intervals as you frantically tried to teach yourself an entire chapter of math the night before your last test. The perfect date requires three things: […]
The chaos of college is thrilling; finally having the ability and the power to take any path without having to ask permission first is something that never gets old. We are always warned to not let the freedom get to our head, but here we […]
H*****y A new year brings many new goals for people, most of which will be forgotten about within a week or two. I mean life is unpredictable & time is something we all could use a little more of, so I don’t blame anyone for […]
She eats from a trough or so you would think. She talks in a British accent in her sleep. This actually happened. No joke. We were at a sleepover and let me just say, I was so incredibly grateful that everyone was necked when she […]
Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. Or it could be the excessive black coffee in my veins. Or maybe it was that philosophy class I attended one time before switching out. I have no idea why I am typing this blog post. I do know that […]
Hey guys!!! Finally made a cover video after so many requests! Enjoy! The link is below!!
It was on January 23rd that I celebrated my birthday– hold up– whoa whoa whoa– but wait a minute.. “Riley’s birthday isn’t on January 23rd… it’s on May 21st.” Exactly. The story takes place this past winter break. Riley, a fashion enthusiast, seized a few good […]
Once again, Ri is writing a pointless blog post about random ass thoughts that hopefully at least make a little sense?? (Be an angel please & ignore any bad grammar or typos) Isn’t it funny the way people can affect us without even trying? Or how […]
My intro can be summed up with: read on if you feel like it. Okay, admit it. We all have girl crushes. I am not talking about a random “flawless” girl you saw on Instagram who immediately makes your entire body fill with jealousy. I’m […]
HEY PALS! How’s it going? As winter break comes to a close for many of you kids, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are being filled with indie video after indie video. Well, even though “if you’ve seen one video you’ve seen them all”, you should still waste […]