documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit

The Tragic Tale of Trapfest- A Night I Will Forever Regret

The Tragic Tale of Trapfest- A Night I Will Forever Regret


The world is dizzy. I’m surrounded by flashing lights. Kaleidoscope vision. The bass beats against my spine.  Stepped on someone’s toes. I swear if you saw me at this moment, you’d think it was raining, but nahhh..sweat galore. Suddenly I’m in the front. The Earth is shaking below my feet. I’m in a circle of strangers now. Head banging. Smiling. Laughing. Jumping. Still sweating. Cardio day.

Damn those dudes were cool.

Tori & I have been to almost every venue, but this was our first encounter with The Pressroom. This was our first time going alone. Just two twingers with a mission to have some sister bonding time & maybe rage a little to high-quality music. Okay, okay, the $20 we had to pay for parking deserves an Anderson Cooper eye roll for sure, but the memories made were worth more than an overpriced parking spot.

When we first arrived, I was somewhat horrified. Inside, I felt like a sardine in-between all of the limp, motionless bodies. I mean c’mon, the crowd was being WAY TOO LAME. At least sway back & forth. Nod your head maybe?? Vibe a teeny bit??? Right on cue, Tori & I both turn heads, simultaneously exchanging looks of disappointment.

REGRETS? Who do you think I am?! Psshhhh. Never. The title was complete BS yo. Even the stupid shit I do doesn’t end up in my closet of skeletons… it ends up being that great story I freak people out with when I first meet them.

“Hi, my name is Riley & I once introduced myself to the same person three times in one night. I once (more like 12 if I’m being completely honest) peed my pants during a track race. I once fell off a wall & landed on a plant in front of everyone. I once referred to my hand modeling gig as a ‘hand job’ to a bunch of adults. & you are?”

If you actually thought for a second that I was going to write a post about my regrets at a rave..

then I just don’t even know what to say..


  • No free refills. This realization brought me back to reality as I stepped out of the crowd completely soaked. Ew. This was worse than the indoor soccer drenches. But even more, oh shit. This meant peeing later was going to be TOO painful. I was parched beyond belief. I finally understood how Patrick & Spongebob felt in Sandy’s Tree Dome. *mumbles ‘water’ in dehydrated Spongebob voice* *takes out student loan* *chugs 9 water bottles* 
  • Bonding over glitter with random girls.
  • *kneels* *ROLLS on ground*
  • The exhilaration of lifting up the VIP rope & casually walking under was one-of-a-kind. It was truly an eat or be eaten moment lemme tell ya kiddos. I was exhausted, but no amount of tiredness could keep me from getting a stellar view.
  • There we were. Sitting on the wall. & SUDDENLY. whoa. What is that playing????? *Tony, Tori, & Ri Bread, passionately belt out to a remix of “The Black Parade”* It was truly life-changing. I think it really made us all soul sisters (Sorry Tony, but you’re now an Irwin sis)
  • *sticks head inside air vent*
  • I remember it: lying on the dirt ground next to Tori. We looked up at the non-existent stars (shout out to light pollution). Vibed to the music. Danced our hands around the sky. Camera flash. Someone took a picture of our zombie-like selves. Then out of nowhere, Tori pops up. RAVE FRIENDS. There they were. Standing right above us. & there’s ABSOLUTELY nothing more exciting than running into your pals in the crowd. No exaggeration. You jump &scream& hug & act shocked like you haven’t seen each other since birth.
  • *headbanging*  *smiling girl taps my shoulder* “Hey, you look like you’re wild &pumped. I’m joining you.”
  • *wakes up next day bruised, sore, & with a few black toe nails* *glitters falls out of hair every time I move*
  • *hurts to pee next morning* *cringes in intervals* Told ya. hashtag az probs

I’d like to close this with a HUGE thank you to Foothills Sports Medicine. I am currently an intern there & without all of the lovely exercises & anatomy they have taught me, the neck & back pain would have lasted much much muuuuccchhh longer than three days. Much love.

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