documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit



It’s been one year now…

One year since we made a spontaneous decision,

probably wasn’t the most intelligent one

or most savvy one

or most fuel efficient one,

but here I am today, one year later, in awe.

I remember recklessly making a ticket purchase guided by the fear of missing out on something that I did not quite understand..


Thank you FoMO!!!! said no one ever.

Ha. Until today.

“Wait what is Crush? Why did I basically take out a student loan to purchase tickets for a concert festival music thingy that starts in four hours & is a three hour drive away? Why did I just put my hair up in space buns? Why did I dump a shit ton of glitter all over me? I googled “rave” & now I am wondering what we got ourselves into…”

HOLY GUAC-OH-MOLLY. *insert avocado toast*



Lemme tell yuh, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that out of all of the stupid decisions we make, even if they go completely wrong, they turn out to be the absolute best stories to tell later.

& I truly made a few too many poor choices that night, but I’ve never had such a stellar outcome.

Luck of the Irish???????????? I don’t know.

& now that it’s officially been a year since going to my first rave, so much has changed.

The blood,

the sweat,

the tears,

the moments I captured on my Polaroid, on my Snapchat, & in my heart..

I would not trade them for the universe

& you have my word on that one.


The relationships that came out of that hooligan-infested night.. I get emotional just remembering it play-by-play. Out of the entire crowd there, the strangers I encountered then are people I could never imagine as strangers today. We became family in an instant…& little did I realize at the time how much I had needed them.. how much I was craving nights of laughter.. of targeting each other in rage cage.. of fake fist fights.. of head banging.. of beads.. of glitter.. of Fortnite.. of laughter (I said laughter twice to emphasize that fact that we can all be pretty semi-decently funny once in a while).. of true, genuine happiness.

I never knew I was missing out on real friendship–

& then I went to Crush.

& now so many doors have opened.

I’ve met so many people.

My family has sprouted & continues to grow.

& distance has never mattered. Every single time I make that drive, whether it’s been three days or three months since the last time we have seen each other, I’m welcomed with a tight hug

& an occasional Smirnoff Ice.

Can’t complain.

Well, I never use names, but I really really really want to say thank you to the Tony & Erik.

You trusted some weirdo gingers (dumbest thing ever duuuuddeeess)

even after we gave you EVERY reason not to.

Thank you Erik for meeting us for lunch at Flower Child

& falling for our peer pressure to purchase a Phoenix Lights ticket.

Thank you for letting us crash at your house, clog your sink with glitter, & spill all of our Kandi on your floor.

Thank you Tony for forgiving us for being butt faces & then later saving our lives at Trapfest with bottomless H2O..

Thank you both for not only introducing us to your friends, but giving two random ginger twins a sanctuary, a second home..

that’s something I can never repay you both for

or adequately put into words how much that means to me.

Erik, I would never trade the night you put up with my blabbering… should I say more? You know what I am talking about for sure because I would not fucking shut up.

Tony, I will never forget you, Tori, & I belting out to The Black Parade while sitting on that wall…

Or all of our late night summer shenans at The Grand….those were truly some iconic moments.

& damnnnn, I am grateful.

Who knows how everything miraculously came together,

but I am never going to question such a fate.

There’s no other people I’d rather break my neck with.

So for all of you readers who have no idea what this blog post means.. I am going to tell you.

If you take anything from this post, I’d like you to spare a moment to appreciate the “accidents” that lined up juuuussttt right for you.. it’s these seconds that determine how your life unfolds & what relationships form. It’s as little¬†as where you decide to dance around in some huge crowd that can make all of the difference. Remember that.


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