documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit

"RUNNING SUCKS"

"RUNNING SUCKS"

Most people refer to me as “crazy” because I run on my own will and I FRICKIN LOVE IT. I wasn’t born a runner. I wasn’t born with this magical desire to run. I am not  a “natural” at running either. Don’t get me wrong, those things would have been preeettyyy nice (not to mention they would have spared me a great deal of blood, sweat, and tears), but eh life just doesn’t work that way *insert the shrugging of my shoulders*. I’d be a very happy college student if I had a quarter for every time someone has complained “I wish running was fun” or “I wish I liked torturing myself” or my absolute favorite… “I wish I could run”. Um… hey.. move your legs back and forth quickly. OHMYGOD that is incredible!!! You’re running!!! Look, if you have the ability to move your legs as such, take advantage of it. I know some people would kill to be able to do that, as well as even have the option to complain about running (I apologize for my rant, but c’mon guys you need to be grateful). I believe running should not be a form of punishment, but that doesn’t change the fact it is.

This is why you probably hate running:

1) You are running for the wrong reasons. If you don’t want to run, then how can you expect to ever enjoy it? If you aren’t feeling it today, don’t force yourself to run out of obligation. Run because you want to run. Simple as that.

2) You run on a treadmill. Let’s be real here. Are you realistically going to enjoy running 3 miles in place? I mean I’m sure the view of a wall or a bunch of other smelly, tired people is fantastic, but is there really much to see after like 15 seconds?  Not really. Special shout out to all you walls and smelly, tired people at the gym who are reading my blog. Being on a machine for an hour at the same pace with all that stupid data about your performance is soooooooo boring. You can run on a treadmill once in a while, but please don’t ONLY run on a treadmill and  expect it to be a party for you!!!

3) You run alone. Every now and then I choose to go for a jog by myself because it’s an awesome way to clear my mind and have some alone time. Hooowweevveerr, running with your friends can still be a stress reliever. Find a buddy, particularly one who won’t complain about exercising the whole time, and go on a run! Having someone to talk to or at least having another human presence nearby makes a huge difference.

4) You are all about the numbers. Dude, stop looking at your watch. Stop looking at your pace. Stop looking at how far you’ve ran. Stop looking at how many minutes you’ve ran. Just stop. Look at nature, not numbers. Running shouldn’t be about any statistics. I don’t even bring my watch half the time because it’s easy to get caught up in all the number crap, which can completely ruin the experience.

5) You don’t properly hydrate. If you haven’t drank anything but coffee for the last two days, running will suck. Get some H20 in ya system asap.

6) You run on an empty stomach. I get it, you don’t want cramps. But you need energy to run! There’s a bunch of science behind it, but to sum it up, your body prefers to use carbohydrates for fuel. Help your body out a bit, and it will help you in return.

7) You need to change it up. Okay, so you decided to trade the treadmill for the sidewalk and the track. Still miserable? Find a trail or something semi-interesting. Change your course daily. Better yet, don’t even have a course. Run up a mountain then run in a park then run in a forest then run somewhere you’ve never been (just don’t get lost)! Routine is not the key. Run at 6:52 am, run at 12:36 pm, run at 8:21 pm, try it all! If you like running when it’s hot, go for it. If you like the cold better, that’s cool too (puns ha). Don’t limit yourself to a specific time and place. Less structure can be a lot more fun.

8) You are out of shape. No one is born in shape. You have to work for it. But hard work will pay off if you take care of yourself properly. I bet you think you’re more out of shape than you actually are anyways. People complain about how they can’t run anymore  within 2 minutes of starting. First of all, I recommend warming-up before attempting to run a marathon. It’s completely up to you what a warm-up means; it can be a  10 minute  jog or a slow mile or whatever works best! After the jog, do some stretching, get a drink of water, take a breather, and then begin. You’ll never know  you have a second wind if you never hit your first.

9) Your outfit is trash. If you don’t like your exercising clothes, then buy some new ones. Yes, Nike is expensive, but TJ Maxx and Ross have stylish, comfy exercising clothes at affordable prices! Running is more of a mental sport than a physical sport. If your confident with your looks, it’s more likely you’ll be confident in your ability. Don’t sike yourself out. Also, buy quality running shoes. Just do it (no pun intended).

10) This isn’t really a reason, but stopping at number 9 felt very odd. You may continue to scroll down.

All in all, it’s okay to think running sucks and it’s okay to hate the thought of ever doing it. I mean who can blame you since it was probably your punishment in PE and sports throughout your childhood. Running has been engraved in our heads as a bad thing (thanks society). But please don’t let a few mistakes or misconceptions be the reason you miss out on something that could potentially be amazing.



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