documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit



I’ve found that one of the easiest ways to check your current position in life is to look at your bedroom. ‘Tis a metaphor of thy mental state! If my room is a mess, clothes & random crap making it like an obstacle course, then my brain is usual the same way.. tangled & disoriented. When my room is well put together,  sooo “on point”, matching the Instagram aesthetic, Pinterest-worthy, lets off that one perfect sparkle like when something is clean in cartoons… all symptoms that my head is calm & collected. Not a madhouse similar to that one Spongebob episode where his brain is on fire & the mini hims are in a frenzy, running in circles, burning documents & such.

& it is at these moments of great insanity that we for some reason feel like we have to match it. One up the crazy with our own shenanigans. When everything around us is spiraling out-of-control, we decide to join the confusion, whether it be by making sporadic decisions or by temporarily unleashing our neurotic side. It seems to me that this happens beyond our knowledge & 3 months later we look back & are left muttering “oh shit”  when we realize that we had been a wee bit too wild.

I’m guilty. Hell yeah kids. I’m not even going to try to pretend otherwise. Personally, I think it’s funny.  I mean for example, I had really wanted a second tattoo, but just needed the extra push to ink myself again. & what do you know, GOT IT! *raises the roof* Cringing right now as I type this, but yes, yes, yeeeeesss, I blame a male. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Before you judge, please let me explain. This boy, probably cootie infested (I’m only saying that because I’m a bitter woman) was sooooo damn confusing. It reminded me of one of those EDM songs where the bass drops, then complete silence, & then one of those freakishly high-pitched sounds catches you off-guard & you are extremely overwhelmed, but still smiling as you head bang. Okay, so that comparison was basically the best description via words of what my heart was experiencing at the time. & I guess I needed to one up the dramatic situation, give it a little shove, show it who the alpha is (me yo), & do something reckless…liiiikkkeee draw three stars on a sticky note at 11:37 p.m. & get it permanently drawn on my shoulder the next day!!! He. He. Ughh. *incomprehensible noises* Go Riley!! Did it ease the pain? Sorta. Homeostasis? That’s what I’d prefer to call it.

I know you’ve all had glorious stories that are a million times more thrilling & STUPID than mine. Let’s hear it. I want to know the dumb stuff life pressures you into doing. It shapes who we are as people & always makes a good laugh during a coffee date or the 6 hour drive to Disneyland. AYE THIS IS ME LOWKEY TELLIN’ YA TO HMU WITH YO TALES.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I really-

okay this middle aged human in cargo shorts is looking at me weirdly because I’m eating my ice. Umm? Excuse me, but I paid $4 for this cold brew, thus I am going to finish it. This ice is money. Gotta stay hydrated, too. Jeeeeezus. Sheeeesh. Man.

Okay, now that I’m thinking about it, my blog posts are inspired by so many of y’all. Kinda want to tell you who, kinda don’t. A few of you would definitely be surprised to hear your name, your face, your existence was what I saw as I was typing. Better be blushing at that. It’s the humble thing to do, right? *wink, wink* 

It truly blows me away how much other people affect me. We choose to take the paths we do based on the emotions we feel, the people we meet, the voices we hear, the sensations, the sights, the goose bumps…

you have impacted me.

& I hope I have impacted you.

Maybe it was no big deal or maybe the impact was so large that you spent $72 of your “emergency money” on a tattoo (this was not too shabby of a deal in my opinion).


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