Hi, what’s up guys? So today I was waiting outside an office for a meeting and all of a sudden I felt the need to rant. But I had no one to rant to (unless you count the receptionist, but I didn’t want to interrupt her Facebook stalking). I know y’all find yourself in similar situations. In a span of ten minutes I typed like a maniac in the notes on my iphone. And I decided to copy and paste them here. Tada! Yay!
I think the biggest mistake I’ve ever done is letting others determine my worth. I think it’s an issue most people struggle with. Just because a boy doesn’t text you back or your friends don’t post the picture you took together shouldn’t be interpreted as you not being good enough. I remember feeling heart broken when I found myself in a situation as such. But why? Our self-esteem shouldn’t derive from what the “popular” people think. It shouldn’t be based on how many likes your instagram photo gets. I remember I used to alter my personality when trying to impress groups of people I desired to be friends with. But even if I accomplished that, who were they even friends with? Not Riley. As I slowly transitioned into allowing my true self to show, it’s like a weight was lifted off my chest. Yes, rejection still hurts me just the same. Actually, it hurts a little bit more since I am putting my complete self out in the open now. But the relationships that have come from just being myself are friendships I know will last a lifetime. My friends love my quirky and silly attitude, which was something I was ashamed off for the longest time. They appreciate my crazy music taste and “harmonize” with me rather than judge my off-key notes. And most of all, they see my flaws as unique qualities that make me Ri. Yes it’s important to not live a life of isolation because you chose not to care about what anybody thinks. But it’s also important to be you. Wear those retro shoes you got from a thrift store, dye your hair neon blue, embrace your secret obsession with boy bands. Go for it. You’re afraid someone is going to judge you? I understand that. I was too. But guess what? I want to hear your life story. I want you to sit down with me at a coffee shop and tell me it all. I want you to talk about the good times and the bad times that made you into the incredible human being you are today. So many of us walk around embarrassed of our past. Regretful of our mistakes. But why? I’ve done some stupid shit. I’ve let my emotions get the best of me before. Recalling certain memories hurts me in ways I can ever explain. But these accidents are what made the happier times feel so amazing. Without the lows how can we ever expect to enjoy the highs? Well, I want you to give me a playlist of your ten favorite songs. I want to know about you. So you can’t use the excuse now that people won’t like you or people don’t want to know the true you. Because I do. There’s nothing more magical to me than to see someone’s eyes light up as they explain their passions. Or the small wrinkles people get around their mouth when they half smile while talking about their dreams. These are the things I appreciate. These are the moments that determine your worth. The giggles, the tears, the sweat, that is you. That is what matters. Not some stupid subtweet or bitchy remark from another person. Don’t ever forget that. Promise me you won’t?