Once again, Ri is writing a pointless blog post about random ass thoughts that hopefully at least make a little sense?? (Be an angel please & ignore any bad grammar or typos)
Isn’t it funny the way people can affect us without even trying? Or how people can affect us & we don’t even realize that we are being affected? It just.. like.. happens.
We encounter people- for a split second our gazes met or maybe all I had heard was your name, & suddenly I’m fascinated. Like, who is this person? && then comes the question of why do I even care? Why does this mystery stranger stand out in the crowd to me? &&& next thing you know, you see them again. You’re thinking about them again. But you know nothing about them, only that you want to know more about them. You find yourself wondering how they spend their days..& did they notice you the same? You find yourself hoping to run into them somewhere once more. But why? Why do we care so much about someone we have never met? Why do we want to know them so bad? Is the universe using gravity to pull us together? Are we supposed to cross paths eventually? Is some kind of invisible force screaming we could have a solid conversation? That maybe you’d understand the jokes I make that no one else seems to get? Honestly, who knows. I think it’s quite hilarious that complete strangers can have such a strong hold on us & simultaneously have no clue of their power. How a stranger has no idea that their presence is desired, that their presence is on someone’s mind, that their mere existence one day impacted someone. & they weren’t even trying. & yet they will never know that this has occurred.
I’ve recently had friends point out to me that they’ve caught a new light in my eyes. A light that comes about when certain people are brought up. Whether I say their names, their names are said to me, I see them, or something reminds me of them, it’s as if I suddenly glisten. Moments as such I have lacked notice of, for the lights in our own eyes are not visible to our own selves. I wouldn’t even know what so-called “light” to look for since our eyes don’t actually light up like a frickin lamp or something. Once again, I think it’s funny how someone can affect me in ways I will never notice. & when this stuff is pointed out, I am often somewhat shocked…I mean why is this person affecting me? It’s kind of embarrassing. Why must I blush &giggle like a little kid when they enter my mind? I didn’t give them permission to be there. & how do I make it stop? How do I keep the person from influencing me? & here I am all nervous, slurring words, jumbling sentences, forgetting all my greatest puns. Here I am focusing on each step I take– wait do I walk weird?? Here I am being driven insane by someone who is LITERALLY not doing anything to me. How can someone I don’t even see everyday have such a large impact on me? It just blows my mind how much other people can affect us without even realizing it. I tried to reflect on my recent decisions & it started to make me wonder.. how many of these decisions were influenced by other people & how many of those people have little significance in my life? And why did I let these people have a say in my actions (basically my future) when they hadn’t even said anything to me?
If you’re looking for a purpose in this post, I apologize. Or if you’re looking for answers to any of these questions, I honestly don’t have them. I’m just describing the shit I observe that gets me thinking. That’s kinda sorta it.