documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit



In order to complete the transition from high school wannabe to kool kollege kid, every individual must make a purchase that is normally between $25 and $40 (no, this is not including the cost of tuition). This purchase is how one can finally feel like a true member of young adulthood. It is college culture. It is the… hydroflask.

*insert “whoas” and “wows” and interested readers*
1) Temperature can make or break a drink. Hot coffee should not be cold. Cold coffee should not be hot. Put your coffee in a hydroflask and suddenly you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Your coffee will always be juuuuussttt rriigghhhtt. Hashtag serious business.

2)  H2O is good for you. I swear being dehydrated is the worst feeling ever! I automatically become a tired, grouchy, giant pimple when I am parched. So if I’m carrying around a hydroflask, I’ve always got some water ready to go.  And that is beautiful.

3) I LOVE MY PLANET and you should too. An easy way to help the environment is to use a reusable bottle *cough* hydroflask *cough* instead of plastic ones for your beverages! So now all you people who deeply desire an eco-friendly world are actually getting off your asses and doing something to preserve the environment!!! Yay!! And when you’re in college and have a tiny trashcan, it is extremely important to avoid a full trashcan. It’s such a struggle to walk 15 feet outside to the dumpster. So less plastic= less trash! Less full trash cans= less walking! Yay for laziness! and yay for the Earth!!

4) Hey you actually have something to put your stickers on!

5) Discounts!!! As you 13 readers of mine should know by now, money is a substance my wallet lacks. The investment in a hydroflask is worth it because you will get your money back. How? I already told you (first word if you forgot)…DISCOUNTS! A lot of places give discounts to people who bring their own cup! Hell yeah!!!


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