HOW TO TEST YOUR BOYFRIEND’S LOVE FT. DISNEYLAND
Okay, in all fairness, he must at least like me a little bit. I mean he took me, your regular ol’ Ri Bread to the happiest place on Earth. So if there was a primary test, he would have passed. Easily. And if there was a second test in existence, this would be it– yes, you can provide the ticket, but can you actually put up with me for those 24 hours? Now, that is a game changer.
The exam commences before we even enter the park…glittery Minnie Mouse ears in one hand…my classic “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” hat in the other…my indecisive self in the middle trying to pick one JUST ONE to wear. I had brought five hats. The clock flashed 7:00 A.M. & after trying to get rid of one of my choices by seeing if Garrett would take one for the team & wear it, I shoved them all into my backpack.
How to test his love? Make him walk around Disneyland. 11 miles more or less.
Take him on “It’s A Small World”… aka a very effective form of birth control.
Take him on the Winnie the Pooh ride with the stinky toddlers.
Take him to Toon Town & accidentally get caught in the line for that not-so-fast roller coaster. (Honestly… by the time we realized we were in line, it was too late to turn back)
What else is there to do?
Spend some time in the World of Disney.
By this, I mean make at least 23 laps around the store, pick a few items up, then put a few items down, walk up to the register, then take a few more laps, then wait in line at the register, & when you finally reach the front, declare: “Hmmm. I’m going to put these back & think about it. Can we come back later?”
The fact that Garrett did not absolutely loathe me after this stunt was remarkable. I was impressed, nonetheless, truly impressed.
Continue to test his love? Never choose anything. When he asks you what to do next? Smile. Look down. Rub your pointed foot along the ground & chime “I’m up for anything!”
Gets ’em every damn time.
Oh man. I give him props for putting up with me. All of this other stuff…well that was nothing compared to my sick moves on the dance floor. & when I say dance floor, I mean the entire 85 acres…& if you’ve seen me dance…YOUR EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED. Nah. My moves are more like Medusa. Blinding. *insert cringe* I resemble a toddler who had too many fruit snacks & missed their afternoon nap. But hey, @Fortnite, don’t go stealing this trademark flailing of my limb or else we are going to find ourselves in court. Bitch! Mhhmmmm.
Ahhhh, *sigh*. ‘Tis the happiest place on Earth. ‘Tis the most sensational reason to take out a student loan and/or put your house into mortgage in order to purchase a churro. ‘Tis the place to discover if your boyfriend enjoys the real you… I mean next on the test is my morning breath & my inability to go a day without coffee, but psshhhh– fingers crossed.
& toes..they are crossed, too.