documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit

HONEY, I’M HOME! & slightly DISCOMBOBULATED

HONEY, I’M HOME! & slightly DISCOMBOBULATED

Going home for the summer.

But what is home? Where am I? Whoa whoa wait. You’re telling me I don’t need a 1:10 guy to girl ratio to come in??? Wuuuuuttt????

Hmmm.

So many mixed feelings.

Free stay. Sweet. Family & pets. Extra sweet. Home-cooked meals. Hell yeah too damn sweet. 

Something about walking through those doors you know well & setting your bags & junk back into their old spots…well if we’re talking about me, I just casually shove it in my closet as I mumble that I will put this shit in its rightful place later. Later means “in the near future”, but it is often used by myself as a more optimistic way of saying “never gonna happen man”. 

Everything is the same. Yet there’s still that feeling of being a stranger.

Hmmm.

Well, summer is now partially over for us kollege kidz. & the struggle is still going on. It’s like I’ve adapted into the college lifestyle a wee bit TOO much. & here I am. Stuck. Hell yeah extra damn sweet. 

After long looonnggg looooonnnnnggg..ehhh sorta like the long kind of brief if you’re picking up what I am putting down…hours of pondering (yeah mhmm I do that sometimes), I’ve narrowed it down to 5 things that have got me going berserk:

  1. Friends. Before, all of my pals were always nearby. I mean even if I didn’t see them for a week, I knew they were still within a few miles (somewhere on/near campus). && that was definitely something I didn’t appreciate until last month when I was dying for some hootenannies, only to realize my entire contact list would have to carpool via airplane if we wanted to hang. Sweet. &&& that’s been difficult to get used to. I miss the familiar faces & smiles & middle fingers exchanged throughout the halls…*single tear drop*  “Good times, good times.”
  2. Nocturnal Nippers. It’s simple: my day starts at 7:30 a.m. (yeah I’m an early bird, please withhold judgement if possible), but my day REALLY starts at 11:07 p.m. when it’s time o’clock to see my pals. So it’s weird not being able to just stride out of my house at midnight. Now I find myself feeling awkward just asking for permission to go to Dutch Bro’s at 7:43 p.m. I mean being home requires you to ask permission to be lame. & I haven’t adapted to this one yet, that’s for sure. It still takes a second for me to comprehend why my parents give me confused expressions when I want to leave the house in the middle of the night. “This is normal mom I swear.” Sweeeeet stuff.
  3. Language. Yeah, soooo apparently the crude sentence enhancers shouldn’t be spoken every other word (insane to imagine such a life to live, I know). Never thought it’d come down to this, but these bad words have become natural. They roll off the tongue effortlessly.  Sweet habit. & now I find myself having mini heart attacks 7139824 times per day– “That is so fu- *insert intense pause* *clears throat* fudgin’ rad!” *nervous chuckle* *wipes sweat from forehead* *prays to a god that I don’t believe in* (that was a reference to the song Breakeven by The Script, so feel free to sing that last asterisk) 
  4. Cooking? Never heard of it. Must be foreign. Wait… are you telling me that food can be prepared without a microwave…that there’s higher-quality meals than that wannabe Chipotle burrito place…that coffee doesn’t come from just keurig kups???? Duuuddee that is sooo sweeeeet. This is new to me. Kinda shocking. *Turns into Guy Fieri* *Rolls away into sunset* 
  5. Motorized Vehicles. I MISSED MY BABY SOUL. *insert ginger joke* I MISSED THE POWER OF BEING ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE I DESIRE WHENEVER DESIRE. What I sure as hell didn’t miss was paying for gas. Rush hour. Sharing a car with Tori. The I-10. The semi trucks that like to play roulette when switching lanes. &&& what do you know, this summer has resulted in a traffic ticket & an empty savings account. Sweet. Now I kinda miss having to walk 30,000 steps per day..’twas refreshing for the muscles & VERY refreshing for the wallet. Cars. Children. What’s the difference???
Discombobulated is the best way to sum up the summer situation. I was hoping writing it down would help clear the brain, but I honestly just feel like I need to take a shower now. College lacked numerous hygienic necessities…hmmm…damn I really should have ranted about that one. That would have made this post way more tolerable. Hairballs & whatnot. Okay, I think this is my cue to shut up & post this..so AU REVOIR MES AMIS. Have a splendid July.

 



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