And this is how my blog is revitalized. I experienced a drought in my life.. my desire to write shriveled. I did not entirely lose myself, but I did forget a piece of myself. Misplaced most likely. Somewhere. So I planted some blue flowers. Promise to forget-me-not.

documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit

ED & Me

ED & Me

People are obsessed with food. We talk about food, we bond over food, we take pictures of food and post them for the world to see, we read about food, we wear food, we personalize our food, we fight over food beliefs. But what if I told you the one thing we are so sure is about food is actually not? Would you be surprised to hear that an eating disorder is not all about food? That maybe you who is considered “normal” is more obsessed than someone with a disorder? Because that is what I am going to tell you right now.

I got a lot of great feedback regarding the depression (Dear Depression) and the bully (My Bully) post, so I thought I’d go for Round 3 with another friend of mine:

How long have you had an eating disorder?

-Since I was 11, but it has come in phases.

So you’ve had periods in your life when it hasn’t been active?

-Yes. Certain ages it was worse than others. When I was younger, I did not even know I had one; I thought my behaviors were normal. I literally stretched an unflattering  picture of me on photoshop, printed it out, and hung it on my wall to serve as “motivation” to eat less and exercise more. I was only in sixth grade and I thought there was nothing strange about this.

What disorders have you been diagnosed with?

-Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Anorexia Athletica, Body Dysmorphia

Would you consider yourself healed?

-I can be considered healed if you look at my actions. However, psychologically it’s something I can never fully recover from. Sometimes this is difficult to accept, but I have to remind myself that this is my reality.

Can you explain a little more of what you mean by that?

-My eating disorder is sneaky. I may feel perfectly healthy and fine, but subconsciously be falling into my behaviors again. I might not realize that the runs I go on have grown longer and the time I spend eating has shortened. Or that I am choosing lower calorie foods at restaurants and reading all the nutrition labels at the grocery store. There is this voice in the back of my mind that constantly haunts me–it makes me believe my clothes are getting tighter and my athletic performance is weakening. One word to describe it: shitty.

Are there any stigmas you’d like to put an end to?

-I wish I could put an end to the idolization of eating disorders. People assume that you do not have a disorder if you are not extremely underweight and think you are fat. In fact, most insurances will not pay for treatment unless you are a certain percentage underweight, which is absolutely ridiculous. It disgusts me that people congratulate others who lose a significant amount of weight and call them an inspiration, simply because their starting weight would be considered “a few extra pounds” or “improvable”. I started at an average weight and people complimented my body as I began to shed pounds, and unknowingly encouraged a premature death for me. I cannot be angry with people for being ignorant…I just want them to understand that unhealthy weight loss is unhealthy weight loss, regardless of what you look like.

What is your opinion on society’s perception of eating disorders?

-Society does not truly understand what an eating disorder is. It is about so much more than weight and food–it’s about control, trauma coping, genetic susceptibility, etc. I used my eating disorder as a comfort; it gave me a sense of control and security. In fact, it gave me a sense of superiority and false confidence. Thus, telling me I am skinny and saying all I have to do is eat to solve my problems is honestly quite humorous. If only it were that simple–I would not have had to spend 45 days impatient. An eating disorder is an addiction, but unlike drug addicts and alcoholics, I cannot stay dry. I have to face my addiction…at least 6 times a day. I do not expect perfection, I just want society to not be so narrow-minded. You can say the words “fat” and “throw up” in front of me…you can invite me to get pizza…you can make a joke about weight. I am a human, not an illness.

And one more thing:

-To anyone who is struggling with an eating disorder, think you might be, or know someone who is, push for treatment. It might be the greatest challenge of your life, but if you even want a life, it is vital. I did not realize how exhausting every day was for me–both mentally and physically–until I accepted help. You are capable and you deserve recovery.

29 thoughts on “ED & Me”

  • After study just a few of the blog posts in your web site now, and I really like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and shall be checking back soon. Pls try my web page as effectively and let me know what you think.

  • Sick and tired of being bored? There’s nothing at all good to watch on TV these days. How many cat videos can you watch at YouTube? What you really want is some live adult entertainment. That’s what is all about. It’s 24/7 excitement like you’ve never seen before. Check it out and tell a friend. Something this good needs to be shared.

  • Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of
    any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest
    twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like
    this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to
    your new updates.

  • I simply want to say I am very new to blogs and absolutely loved you’re blog. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You definitely have very good articles and reviews. Appreciate it for sharing your website.

  • Hello! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

  • What i do not understood is if truth be told how you’re not actually much more smartly-appreciated than you might be right now. You are very intelligent. You recognize therefore significantly when it comes to this subject, produced me in my view consider it from numerous varied angles. Its like men and women are not involved unless it’s something to do with Woman gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding. Always take care of it up!

  • I think that is among the most vital info for me. And i am satisfied studying
    your article. But should remark on few normal issues,
    The site taste is perfect, the articles is really excellent : D.

    Excellent job, cheers

  • Just imagine for a second if you could get into the mind of a millionaire. Think of all the things that you could learn. Well, you actually can do just that. A millionaire is giving away all of his secret right on the internet. You don’t even need to leave the house to learn what made him rich. All it takes is visiting He will literally teach you all of the secrets to making money. Don’t you think it’s time that you earned the living that you deserve? Change your life today by simply following the link above. Do it for yourself and everyone that you care about.

  • An individual automatically help to make really articles or blog posts I might point out. This is the very first time that My spouse and i went to internet web page thereby much? We pleasantly surprised while using the research you’ve made to make this type of placed amazing. Amazing pastime!

  • Did you know that people make their entire income promoting ClickBank? You too could be one of the many who have quit their job. Affiliate marketing is as old as the internet. It’s not going to go away any time soon. You too can get your piece of the pie. Why shouldn’t you? Do you really like working the job you have? Are you going to be able to do it until you retire? If you’re job requires physical labor, then you know the answer to that question. There’s no way you’re going to be able to do that when you get older. That’s just the truth and no one needs to tell it to you. Right now you could be making money online. Does it require work? You better believe it does. No honest person is ever going to tell you that it’s possible to become a millionaire online without doing any work whatsoever. It’s not possible. That doesn’t mean there isn’t money to be made. There’s plenty of money out there to be made by people just like yourself. Now you know there’s going to be a pitch for a product. You’re right about that. Click on the link and check it out. There’s a video you can watch that will explain everything. It will tell you how to make money using ClickBank. Watch the video and see what you think. You too can be one of the many who earn a living promoting ClickBank. Some people earn a good living and there’s no reason why you can’t.

  • Are you the type who likes to hangout on social media? Have you ever thought about making it a career? You can help promote their business using social media. This means you can do what you already love doing and make money at it. Does this sound like something you’d like to do? If so, then check out You can help people and make some money in the process. You already hang out at social media sites. Why not make a few bucks doing it?

  • Hi there would you mind letting me know which web host you’re working with?

    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different browsers and I must say this blog
    loads a lot faster then most. Can you recommend a good hosting provider at a honest price?
    Many thanks, I appreciate it!

  • Are you the kind of guy who loves to watch sexy girls get fucked in the ass? If so, then you need to check out this site This is the one place where anal sex lovers can get their fix. You’ve never seen asses this tight fucked by cocks this big. Each asshole is super tight and it gets fucked by a huge cock. It’s impossible not to beat off while watching these beauties getting ass fucked.

  • Awsome post and right to the point. I don’t know if this is really the best place to ask but do you guys have any thoughts on where to employ some professional writers? Thanks in advance 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *