And this is how my blog is revitalized. I experienced a drought in my life.. my desire to write shriveled. I did not entirely lose myself, but I did forget a piece of myself. Misplaced most likely. Somewhere. So I planted some blue flowers. Promise to forget-me-not.

documentation of my neuroses, eccentricities, imperfections, lame puns & other rad bullshit

Doodads

CATEGORIZING PEOPLE BEEECH

CATEGORIZING PEOPLE BEEECH

Categorizing rave attendees. Fight me.

LEMME HELP YUH SPICE UP THAT MILD LIFE OF YOURS

LEMME HELP YUH SPICE UP THAT MILD LIFE OF YOURS

Sorry, but your life is just a plain ol’ rice cake. I can fix it. *insert Holes meme*

5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LOCAL BARISTA CRINGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST TORI RAE

5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LOCAL BARISTA CRINGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST TORI RAE

Tori takes the stage & reveals the PERFECT ways to make your local baristas suffer…& what’s more fun than being a high-maintenance customer? Am I right or am I right?

THE MOST GOD DAMN INNOVATIVE CAKE RECIPE ON THIS PLANET & I DON'T EVEN GO TO ASU WHA WHAATT

THE MOST GOD DAMN INNOVATIVE CAKE RECIPE ON THIS PLANET & I DON'T EVEN GO TO ASU WHA WHAATT

Step up your cakin’ game. Steal my idea. I dare ya. Know who originally came up with the fidget spinner? Exactly.

Settlers/Discoverers

Settlers/Discoverers

Dig this. Always relevant.

AVOCADO TOAST, BABY FT. BETTER BUZZ COFFEE

AVOCADO TOAST, BABY FT. BETTER BUZZ COFFEE

Famous chef Riley Irwin sweeps the nation in search of the world’s best avocado toast.

THE DEHYDRATED, SLEEP DEPRIVED IR-TWINS WRECK THE ECO-FASHION SHOW FT. NO DRAMATIC FALLS ON STAGE OR WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS IN FLAG, AZ (ELEVATION 7000) & SORRY THIS TITLE IS SO ODDLY SHORT

THE DEHYDRATED, SLEEP DEPRIVED IR-TWINS WRECK THE ECO-FASHION SHOW FT. NO DRAMATIC FALLS ON STAGE OR WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS IN FLAG, AZ (ELEVATION 7000) & SORRY THIS TITLE IS SO ODDLY SHORT

Whoa whoa wait. Hold up. Riley’s not writing a blog post made up of nothing but sarcasm and bull shit?? What is this world becoming?? *confusion* *chaos* Unrecognizable. Well, two weeks ago (the night before Phx Lights), I was lucky enough to have the opportunity […]

WHAT'S BREWIN BOYS

WHAT'S BREWIN BOYS

Hello, my name is Riley and I am considered a regular at multiple coffee shops. Many baristas remember my order as soon as they see my face in line. Currently, I am cradling a cup of coffee in my hand. Dark roast is running through my veins. […]

CHEAP DATE, AYE?

CHEAP DATE, AYE?

Putting together the perfect date to impress the perfect girl is probably more stressful than that time you cried in 15 minute intervals as you frantically tried to teach yourself an entire chapter of math the night before your last test.  The perfect date requires three things: […]

FIVE EMBARRASSING FACTS ABOUT TORI IRWIN

FIVE EMBARRASSING FACTS ABOUT TORI IRWIN

She eats from a trough or so you would think. She talks in a British accent in her sleep. This actually happened. No joke. We were at a sleepover and let me just say, I was so incredibly grateful that everyone was necked when she […]

Riley’s Cover Video

Riley’s Cover Video

Hey guys!!! Finally made a cover video after so many requests! Enjoy! The link is below!!

The Irwins Go Indie

The Irwins Go Indie

HEY PALS! How’s it going? As winter break comes to a close for many of you kids, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are being filled with indie video after indie video. Well, even though “if you’ve seen one video you’ve seen them all”, you should still waste […]

Um Why Is That Pizza Green?

Um Why Is That Pizza Green?

Before you judge the pizza for being green, you need to try it first. I mean isn’t that the polite thing to do? I always see such creative recipes on Pinterest, so I pin them. Buuuttt rather than attempt those recipes, I end up just […]

HYDRO HOOPLA

HYDRO HOOPLA

In order to complete the transition from high school wannabe to kool kollege kid, every individual must make a purchase that is normally between $25 and $40 (no, this is not including the cost of tuition). This purchase is how one can finally feel like […]

How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 2

How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 2

Warning: There are high levels of sarcasm throughout this blog post. Please proceed with caution. Well guys, it is still holiday time!!! And I still have no money!!!! I am sure many of you can relate (or at least are cautious spenders). Once again, I […]

How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 1

How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 1

  Warning: There are high levels of sarcasm throughout this blog post. Please proceed with caution. It is officially the most wonderful time of the year! It was all fun and games until I opened up my wallet only to find a few coins, a Forever […]

Lose The Attitude For Some Gratitude

Lose The Attitude For Some Gratitude

Three cheers if you hate writing essays! Three cheers if you used to like writing until school happened to you!! Three cheers if you used to like writing until your teacher pointed out all the reasons your paper sucks!!! Three cheers if your teacher would […]

THAT’S FLAN-TASTIC

THAT’S FLAN-TASTIC

One of my favorite things to throw on before walking out the door is definitely a flannel! I have a variety of colors and styles and it takes like 0 seconds to find one that will match my outfit (because they match EVERYTHING). I buy […]

Dry Shampoo And I Are Pretty Tight

Dry Shampoo And I Are Pretty Tight

The item I chose for this week is none other than DRY SHAMPOO! I never used it because it would always leave flakes in my hair (I was afraid people would think it’s dandruff). But then on a magical day (Wednesday to be exact) in a magical place (TJ […]

Smell Your Way To Happiness

Smell Your Way To Happiness

Okay the item this week may seem kind of weird… *drum roll* SCENTED MARKERS!!!!! But hey it’s the little quirky stuff that make life more fun and interesting! I have two different brands of markers: Mr. Sketch and Crayola (both of which are great and you […]

TIME TO RAISE THE BAR

TIME TO RAISE THE BAR

The item this week is my favorite snack in the whole wide world. The Larabar. It was love at first sight. Yes, they can be a little pricey, but there are always coupons available and it is waaaaay cheaper than your daily Starbucks. Here are […]

Ques-twins & Answers

Ques-twins & Answers

Trust me, I already know that is a clever pun.

Putty, Please.

Putty, Please.

Okay guys I’m not exaggerating when I say you should invest $10-15 in what most of you are going to assume is a child’s toy.  Soooo read the rest of this before you judge me. I am apologizing now for my excessive use of exclamation […]

H-ALOE-LUJAH

H-ALOE-LUJAH

We all know aloe vera for the wonderful cooling sensation it leaves on your sunburnt skin, but I swear this substance is more magical than you think. Here are 5 reasons you need to spend $2.99: Even if you don’t have a sunburn it’s still an […]