How To Convince Everyone You Have Your Life Together
My life is falling apart and this is why you have no idea…. it’s the cover-up scandal of 2020.
Author: herlifeontheveg
The Optimist’s Spring Break (w/out ANY sarcasm)
Hey guys. Hi. What is up? Catch your girl Ri “LIVING MY BEST LIFE” *HEART EMOJI* *CAT EMOJI* *INSERT INSTA PHOTO OF ME THROWING HANDS UP & FAKE LAUGHING AT BEACH* It has been the spring equinox for four days now. It snowed in Flagstaff […]
LET’S GET THIS RI BREAD
Well, I narrowed the resolutions to five. Not for your convenience, but solely because I have learned that by setting my expectations low, I am less of a disappointment to myself. It is what any logical person would do.
ESSENTIALS FOR THE 4TH OF JANUARY 2019
Purchase these items. Why? Because I am claiming they are totally awesome! & why wouldn’t you believe me? I am basically a famous Youtuber minus the fame & the Youtube channel. So..um.. get to it?
HOW TO TEST YOUR BOYFRIEND’S LOVE FT. DISNEYLAND
What’s the MATTER-horn?
Are you feelin’ the BUZZ space ranger???
Why are you Pirates of the Carri-BEIN’ like this ayyee?
Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself…wait nevermind…Disney does not own Dreamworks…well, not yet.
JOB INTERVIEW JARGON
What better day to hold a job interview than on Black Friday? What better place than in line for your favorite store? What better time to come up with a company in general? That’s what I’m saying!
MEETING THE PARENTAL UNITS
Okay, so you’re going to meet my parents. Take a deep breath. You’re good. “Just be yourself” hahahha LOL that’s a lot easier said than done. I know. Trust me, I know. Spray that lavender all over you—you’ve got this.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A FRESHMAN IN THE WILD
photo of ri bread freshman year of college in her natural habitat
How To Make Life HARDer
I am an expert when it comes to going HARD. Especially in the summer. Woot woot.
2k18 & VERY ADDICTED
You are all addicts. & to deny that statement of mine is exactly what an addict would do. Caught ya.
Got that Bra-ZEAL
I like your Bra-ZEAL. This blog post might change your life. Hence might. Hence zeal. Hence UR MOM.
HOW TO GET BOYS TO LIKE “LIKE” YOU
Yes, I am here today, as a long-time hopeless romantic with an astoundingly low success rate, to hand over some GUARANTEED to work advice.
FROM MEXICO TO VEGAS: A STORY OF SURVIVAL
From Mexico to Vegas– yuh I am not dead bitches believe it or not.
FUCKING UP IN FRONT OF MALES
I’d like to dedicate this post to the nine dudes I humiliated myself in front of. Thank you for taking one for the team & I apologize if it caused any emotional damage. What can I say… I fuck up a lot. *shrugs*
I’D LIKE TO CALL FOR A TOAST
It’s been since February.. wut wuuuutttt iz dis??? I am back & here to stay!!!!!! Woooot woot
THIS DOGGO IS ABOUT TO DRIVE THE TRUCK HAHAHAH NOW DON’T BE STRESSED YUH SILLY GOOSE THIS IS TOO FUNNY TO BE STRESSED LIKE IMAGINE IF YOU SAW HIM IN THE LANE OVER
Ri’s coming your way with AHH-MAZZINNGG tips– as usual. This week’s topic is *drum roll* STRESS!
AND THAT IS THE REASON YOU ARE SAD
Came upon this little piece I scrambled up in the notes on my phone a while back– oh Ri.
BE MORE RESPONSIBLE
First impressions are everything. But are they really? What about last impressions? What about the impression YOU made last night when you strolled into the party? Champagne glass resting in your hand. Shoulders back. Posture straight. Graceful gestures. Delicate smile & all. The last idea […]
2018 ‘TIS SOME SHITTY RESOLUTIONS
Seven snazzy resolutions that will magically alter you into a rad individual. Sick.
NAVIGATION
Well, once again you are getting a glimpse inside the notes on my severely cracked iphone.
FUCK IT.
I did what any smart girl would do: 1) cry on the toilet 2) take a bad ass selfie 3) leave all that shit where it belongs– in the public restroom & FUCK IT.
RILEY’S IPHONE NOTES–IT’S 12:13 A.M.
Just some stupid shit that’s taking up storage in the notes on my phone!!
BECOMING HEALTHY IS THE MOST UNHEALTHY THING I’VE EVER DONE PT. 6
If you haven’t played Monopoly before, then you probably aren’t going to get my references.
HOW TO GET YOUR CRUSH TO TOLERATE YOU
I’m an expert. What more is there to say? Nothing aye. So check out this blog post because I can make your crush tolerate you. If not, you can brawl with me (stool & Irish pub not included) Buuuttt it’s a money back guarantee!
SOAKED & SUCH
Well, kids. Hello. Hey. Hi. Here’s some thoughts of mine regarding walking. It took a lot of thinking if you can’t tell by my featured image, which is me sitting on a stool, sipping a blueberry milkshake, deep in thought (& possibly staring at a cute dog-o).
GOING GLOBAL
Are you a neck banger like me? Do you wake up & cry every morning because you whipped a bit too hard the previous night? I’ve got a training plan for you. Aye.
ROCKS FOR US ROCK BOTTOM FOOLS
Yes, I’ve hit rock bottom. So why not make life one giant lame pun & turn to rocks?
SHE’S A REG
The wise words of a regular… might be a waste of your time, but hey, they might alter your perception forever. Never know.
LUMBERJACKS OR SHOULD I SAY…LUMBERWHACKS
Heading up north? It can be scary, but don’t you worry. You’re talking to an expert on all things Lumberjack.
OPEN YO MIND OR YOU BE BLIND (HA RHYMES *CRINGE* HA)
Are you with me? Okay, I want you to close your eyes with me on the count of three & as soon as you can’t see a thing, I’m going to ask you to open your mind & see everything. Okay, one, two, thr-wait. CRAP. Scratch that. Open those eyelids, so you can read my post!!
DAAAMN THAT PASSION LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU
“YOUR PASSION! OMG! WHERE’D YOU GET IT? I WANT ONE IN PINK!”
NOCTURNAL NONSENSE
I’m in a coffee shop. Black & no room. There I typed away for 36 minutes. & I’m sure you can figure out what sort of blog post came from another one of my sporadic ((aka unorganized& discombobulated)) revelations….
LEMME HELP YUH SPICE UP THAT MILD LIFE OF YOURS
Sorry, but your life is just a plain ol’ rice cake. I can fix it. *insert Holes meme*
BECOMING HEALTHY IS THE MOST UNHEALTHY THING I’VE EVER DONE PT. 5
Us athletes are extraordinary creatures. We are insane. We are passionate. We are mentally & physically strong. Yet here we find ourselves vulnerable to the limitless horizons.
LIPSTICK & LUNGES
YOU have been selected to receive two free passes on a totally legitimate cruise! This is not a scam. I repeat, this is NOT A SCAM! Click the link below to receive a special email with your special tickets because you were chosen with a […]
HONEY, I’M HOME! & slightly DISCOMBOBULATED
Home from school. But what is home? Where am I? Whoa whoa wait. You’re telling me I don’t need a 1:10 guy to girl ratio to come in??? Wuuuuuttt????
5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LOCAL BARISTA CRINGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST TORI RAE
Tori takes the stage & reveals the PERFECT ways to make your local baristas suffer…& what’s more fun than being a high-maintenance customer? Am I right or am I right?
BECOMING HEALTHY IS THE MOST UNHEALTHY THING I’VE EVER DONE PT. 3
& here we are. Here we are trusting complete strangers over something you’ve spent & will continue to spend your entire life with.. your own body, your own self.
DEAR MY 13 READERS,
I love you. Was that too soon? I apologize if so. But here I am. Here I am sitting cross-legged in a coffee shop, sipping my 12 oz black coffee (as you might have expected), & reflecting. ‘Tis what I do. & I am sure […]
BECOMING HEALTHY IS THE MOST UNHEALTHY THING I’VE EVER DONE. PT. 2
You know, it makes me really sad to see so many posts about failed diet & work out attempts & the unhappiness that has come with dedicating all of one’s time to this supposed “lifestyle“. *Anderson Cooper eye roll* Anyone who knows me well, knows […]
BECOMING HEALTHY IS THE MOST UNHEALTHY THING I’VE EVER DONE.
Becoming healthy is the most unhealthy thing I’ve ever done. Low blood pressure. Check. No diseases. Check. Normal cholesterol. Check. Low heart rate. Check. Not overweight. Check. 20/20 vision. Check. Athletic. Check. Adequate sleep. Check. Hydrated. Check. Did you eat your fruits and vegetables today? […]
WELL..UM HEY I GUESS I HAVE.. LIKE CHANGED A BIT
Yes, college in fact changes us children emotionally & mentally. Some of us experience transformations- sometimes in the upward direction of maturity & sometimes in the downward direction towards our graves (foreshadowing a young, imminent death). But what about the physical aspect????? Would you like […]
RI’S KINDA DECENT TIPS FOR FINALS PREP
Finals are here. & I am out. Yuh feel me? ‘Tis a rough period for most college students. I’m guessing your semester-long disillusionment is fading and you’re finally sober enough to realize your grades aren’t as superb as you last remember? Maybe you’re in a […]
HOW TO PROPERLY VOYAGE FROM THE SAGUARO TO THE SAND
My favorite part about California? Awhh thanks for asking. Well, to answer that question even though no one actually cares about my answer, I’d just like to say it’s the ride there. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know that sounds so god damn weird, but I […]
CRUSHED IT.
Do you ever make spontaneous decisions? I know for a fact that you know the insane ideas I am talking about. We all have them. But the question is… do you ever follow through with them? Well, my friends and I are crazy. Soooo we often […]
LET’S GET BREAKFAST
The chaos of college is thrilling; finally having the ability and the power to take any path without having to ask permission first is something that never gets old. We are always warned to not let the freedom get to our head, but here we […]
Don’t Say The H Word!!
H*****y A new year brings many new goals for people, most of which will be forgotten about within a week or two. I mean life is unpredictable & time is something we all could use a little more of, so I don’t blame anyone for […]
LOVE IS MITOSIS
Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. Or it could be the excessive black coffee in my veins. Or maybe it was that philosophy class I attended one time before switching out. I have no idea why I am typing this blog post. I do know that […]
Riley’s Cover Video
Hey guys!!! Finally made a cover video after so many requests! Enjoy! The link is below!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY
It was on January 23rd that I celebrated my birthday– hold up– whoa whoa whoa– but wait a minute.. “Riley’s birthday isn’t on January 23rd… it’s on May 21st.” Exactly. The story takes place this past winter break. Riley, a fashion enthusiast, seized a few good […]
It Just.. Like.. Happens.
Once again, Ri is writing a pointless blog post about random ass thoughts that hopefully at least make a little sense?? (Be an angel please & ignore any bad grammar or typos) Isn’t it funny the way people can affect us without even trying? Or how […]
A DEEP INSIGHT ON THE STUDY OF GIRL CRUSHES
My intro can be summed up with: read on if you feel like it. Okay, admit it. We all have girl crushes. I am not talking about a random “flawless” girl you saw on Instagram who immediately makes your entire body fill with jealousy. I’m […]
The Irwins Go Indie
HEY PALS! How’s it going? As winter break comes to a close for many of you kids, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. are being filled with indie video after indie video. Well, even though “if you’ve seen one video you’ve seen them all”, you should still waste […]
THE ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE STORY OF KARMA & BEANIE’S FIRST HIKE EVER
After moving to Flagstaff 6 months ago, I discovered a new dream of mine. It was inspired by the plethora of dog & owner dates I’d watch every Saturday morning through a window at Macy’s European Coffeehouse. I suddenly knew what I wanted in life. I […]
Empty Wallet, Full Closet
Yes, I am passionate about a few too many things- but is it really that bad to find yourself fascinated by everything &very enthusiastic about life? I honestly don’t think so. Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that I am somewhat normal. Who knows. […]
Um Why Is That Pizza Green?
Before you judge the pizza for being green, you need to try it first. I mean isn’t that the polite thing to do? I always see such creative recipes on Pinterest, so I pin them. Buuuttt rather than attempt those recipes, I end up just […]
In a Holidaze
December 24th 5 P.M. Christmas has officially started (regardless of what the calendar says). December 24th 5:01 P.M. The anticipation is here- this is when it truly begins. December 24th 6:49 P.M. It’s tradition at my house to open one present this evening, but “just […]
The Farewell Friends
Hello everyone. I’ve been using my blog to put down a lot of my random thoughts lately, so I apologize if anyone is annoyed! But when new obstacles & challenges block my path, words tend to come easy to me. And by writing them out, […]
SMILE, YO
If you know me than you most definitely know that any well-trained doctor would diagnose me with an extreme case of the giggles. Or that I can’t keep a straight face for more than .2 seconds (the frowning Snapchat filter is the only way I can do […]
Just My Rant About Your Worth No Big Deal
Hi, what’s up guys? So today I was waiting outside an office for a meeting and all of a sudden I felt the need to rant. But I had no one to rant to (unless you count the receptionist, but I didn’t want to interrupt […]
Ri’s Christmas Challenge
Okay so yes Christmas is about a lot of things- love, appreciation, family, cookies… But lets face it. We can’t act like Christmas has nothing to do with presents (as much as our grateful selves try to convince everyone). Presents are one of my favorite […]
ED & Me
People are obsessed with food. We talk about food, we bond over food, we take pictures of food and post them for the world to see, we read about food, we wear food, we personalize our food, we fight over food beliefs. But what if […]
HYDRO HOOPLA
In order to complete the transition from high school wannabe to kool kollege kid, every individual must make a purchase that is normally between $25 and $40 (no, this is not including the cost of tuition). This purchase is how one can finally feel like […]
How To Holiday With A College Student Budget Phase 2
Warning: There are high levels of sarcasm throughout this blog post. Please proceed with caution. Well guys, it is still holiday time!!! And I still have no money!!!! I am sure many of you can relate (or at least are cautious spenders). Once again, I […]
