I have planted some flowers on my blog.
Some Recent Stuff
Well, I narrowed the resolutions to five. Not for your convenience, but solely because I have learned that by setting my expectations low, I am less of a disappointment to myself. It is what any logical person would do.
Purchase these items. Why? Because I am claiming they are totally awesome! & why wouldn’t you believe me? I am basically a famous Youtuber minus the fame & the Youtube channel. So..um.. get to it?
What’s the MATTER-horn?
Are you feelin’ the BUZZ space ranger???
Why are you Pirates of the Carri-BEIN’ like this ayyee?
Shrek yourself before you wreck yourself…wait nevermind…Disney does not own Dreamworks…well, not yet.
What better day to hold a job interview than on Black Friday? What better place than in line for your favorite store? What better time to come up with a company in general? That’s what I’m saying!
Okay, so you’re going to meet my parents. Take a deep breath. You’re good. “Just be yourself” hahahha LOL that’s a lot easier said than done. I know. Trust me, I know. Spray that lavender all over you—you’ve got this.
photo of ri bread freshman year of college in her natural habitat
You are all addicts. & to deny that statement of mine is exactly what an addict would do. Caught ya.
I like your Bra-ZEAL. This blog post might change your life. Hence might. Hence zeal. Hence UR MOM.
From Mexico to Vegas– yuh I am not dead bitches believe it or not.
I’d like to dedicate this post to the nine dudes I humiliated myself in front of. Thank you for taking one for the team & I apologize if it caused any emotional damage. What can I say… I fuck up a lot. *shrugs*
It’s been since February.. wut wuuuutttt iz dis??? I am back & here to stay!!!!!! Woooot woot
THIS DOGGO IS ABOUT TO DRIVE THE TRUCK HAHAHAH NOW DON’T BE STRESSED YUH SILLY GOOSE THIS IS TOO FUNNY TO BE STRESSED LIKE IMAGINE IF YOU SAW HIM IN THE LANE OVER
Ri’s coming your way with AHH-MAZZINNGG tips– as usual. This week’s topic is *drum roll* STRESS!
First impressions are everything. But are they really? What about last impressions? What about the impression YOU made last night when you strolled into the party? Champagne glass resting in your hand. Shoulders back. Posture straight. Graceful gestures. Delicate smile & all. The last idea […]
Seven snazzy resolutions that will magically alter you into a rad individual. Sick.
Just some stupid shit that’s taking up storage in the notes on my phone!!
I’m an expert. What more is there to say? Nothing aye. So check out this blog post because I can make your crush tolerate you. If not, you can brawl with me (stool & Irish pub not included) Buuuttt it’s a money back guarantee!
Well, kids. Hello. Hey. Hi. Here’s some thoughts of mine regarding walking. It took a lot of thinking if you can’t tell by my featured image, which is me sitting on a stool, sipping a blueberry milkshake, deep in thought (& possibly staring at a cute dog-o).
Yes, I’ve hit rock bottom. So why not make life one giant lame pun & turn to rocks?
Heading up north? It can be scary, but don’t you worry. You’re talking to an expert on all things Lumberjack.
Are you with me? Okay, I want you to close your eyes with me on the count of three & as soon as you can’t see a thing, I’m going to ask you to open your mind & see everything. Okay, one, two, thr-wait. CRAP. Scratch that. Open those eyelids, so you can read my post!!
“YOUR PASSION! OMG! WHERE’D YOU GET IT? I WANT ONE IN PINK!”
I’m in a coffee shop. Black & no room. There I typed away for 36 minutes. & I’m sure you can figure out what sort of blog post came from another one of my sporadic ((aka unorganized& discombobulated)) revelations….
Sorry, but your life is just a plain ol’ rice cake. I can fix it. *insert Holes meme*
Us athletes are extraordinary creatures. We are insane. We are passionate. We are mentally & physically strong. Yet here we find ourselves vulnerable to the limitless horizons.
YOU have been selected to receive two free passes on a totally legitimate cruise! This is not a scam. I repeat, this is NOT A SCAM! Click the link below to receive a special email with your special tickets because you were chosen with a […]
Home from school. But what is home? Where am I? Whoa whoa wait. You’re telling me I don’t need a 1:10 guy to girl ratio to come in??? Wuuuuuttt????
Tori takes the stage & reveals the PERFECT ways to make your local baristas suffer…& what’s more fun than being a high-maintenance customer? Am I right or am I right?
47 minutes spent sitting at my computer + sipping Colombian coffee (after my whopping 48 hour cleanse from coffee) + people watching at Elevate Coffee Company (no dogs sighted sadly) + numb legs that fell asleep because I was cross-legged on the floor (had to stay in reach of the plug) = this. See I am still pretty okay at math after not taking it for over 2 years now. Ya man.
Step up your cakin’ game. Steal my idea. I dare ya. Know who originally came up with the fidget spinner? Exactly.
HOW TO WIN OVER THE HEART OF THAT GIRL YOU LIKE BUT AREN’T SURE IF SHE LIKES YOU BACK SO YOU DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO TAKE A RISK & MAKE A MOVE OR INSTEAD JUST WAIT A BIT LONGER TO SEE HOW THINGS GO TO AVOID MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF YOURSELF BUT IT REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DAMN COMPLICATED
& here we are. Here we are trusting complete strangers over something you’ve spent & will continue to spend your entire life with.. your own body, your own self.
I love you. Was that too soon? I apologize if so. But here I am. Here I am sitting cross-legged in a coffee shop, sipping my 12 oz black coffee (as you might have expected), & reflecting. ‘Tis what I do. & I am sure […]
You know, it makes me really sad to see so many posts about failed diet & work out attempts & the unhappiness that has come with dedicating all of one’s time to this supposed “lifestyle“. *Anderson Cooper eye roll* Anyone who knows me well, knows […]
Hey everyone! These last few days, you could catch my other half & I scampering around the Pacific Coast (which I initially thought stood for “Peanut Butter” shhh don’t tell anyone). & we were being somewhat reckless by not putting on much sunscreen or drinking […]
Becoming healthy is the most unhealthy thing I’ve ever done. Low blood pressure. Check. No diseases. Check. Normal cholesterol. Check. Low heart rate. Check. Not overweight. Check. 20/20 vision. Check. Athletic. Check. Adequate sleep. Check. Hydrated. Check. Did you eat your fruits and vegetables today? […]
Yes, college in fact changes us children emotionally & mentally. Some of us experience transformations- sometimes in the upward direction of maturity & sometimes in the downward direction towards our graves (foreshadowing a young, imminent death). But what about the physical aspect????? Would you like […]
Summer break is your time to relax, yet still simultaneously be productive. It’s a time when you actually have time to get stuff done, but in a casual, stress-free manner. Throughout second semester, we all find ourselves saying “This summer I will…” or “When school […]
Put Riley alone in Macy’s for 23 minutes on a fine Sunday morning. &&& BUH-BAM. She randomly spits out wisdom.. or is it absolute crap..or could it possibly be her flesh-burning coffee?? Eh, I’m going to go with D) all of the above because I think at […]
Finals are here. & I am out. Yuh feel me? ‘Tis a rough period for most college students. I’m guessing your semester-long disillusionment is fading and you’re finally sober enough to realize your grades aren’t as superb as you last remember? Maybe you’re in a […]
THE DEHYDRATED, SLEEP DEPRIVED IR-TWINS WRECK THE ECO-FASHION SHOW FT. NO DRAMATIC FALLS ON STAGE OR WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS IN FLAG, AZ (ELEVATION 7000) & SORRY THIS TITLE IS SO ODDLY SHORT
Whoa whoa wait. Hold up. Riley’s not writing a blog post made up of nothing but sarcasm and bull shit?? What is this world becoming?? *confusion* *chaos* Unrecognizable. Well, two weeks ago (the night before Phx Lights), I was lucky enough to have the opportunity […]
The experience was absolutely indescribable. I can tell you that the euphoria took place Saturday and Sunday night last weekend, but that is it. Words can’t adequately explain April 8th and 9th of 2017. So why even bother trying? Anyone who has been to a […]
There’s nothing more euphoric than a taste of live music. Regardless of the size of the venue or the genre of music, hearing it in person is a one-of-a-kind experience. However, if we aren’t properly prepared for the obstacles that come with attending festivals and […]
Hello, my name is Riley and I am considered a regular at multiple coffee shops. Many baristas remember my order as soon as they see my face in line. Currently, I am cradling a cup of coffee in my hand. Dark roast is running through my veins. […]
My favorite part about California? Awhh thanks for asking. Well, to answer that question even though no one actually cares about my answer, I’d just like to say it’s the ride there. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know that sounds so god damn weird, but I […]
I wear shades inside public places so my fans don’t recognize me. As it says in my bio on my “About Me” page, which you probably haven’t read because I am not famous: “One of the first things I remember reading in a book on how […]
Do you ever make spontaneous decisions? I know for a fact that you know the insane ideas I am talking about. We all have them. But the question is… do you ever follow through with them? Well, my friends and I are crazy. Soooo we often […]
College is a learning experience. It is a zoo, a prison, & a luxurious spa vacation all compiled into one place (10 million miles long, 100 million buildings wide, & lacks any logical pattern of arrangement) for your convenience. There’s always a new face to meet, a […]
Putting together the perfect date to impress the perfect girl is probably more stressful than that time you cried in 15 minute intervals as you frantically tried to teach yourself an entire chapter of math the night before your last test. The perfect date requires three things: […]
The chaos of college is thrilling; finally having the ability and the power to take any path without having to ask permission first is something that never gets old. We are always warned to not let the freedom get to our head, but here we […]
H*****y A new year brings many new goals for people, most of which will be forgotten about within a week or two. I mean life is unpredictable & time is something we all could use a little more of, so I don’t blame anyone for […]
She eats from a trough or so you would think. She talks in a British accent in her sleep. This actually happened. No joke. We were at a sleepover and let me just say, I was so incredibly grateful that everyone was necked when she […]
Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. Or it could be the excessive black coffee in my veins. Or maybe it was that philosophy class I attended one time before switching out. I have no idea why I am typing this blog post. I do know that […]
It was on January 23rd that I celebrated my birthday– hold up– whoa whoa whoa– but wait a minute.. “Riley’s birthday isn’t on January 23rd… it’s on May 21st.” Exactly. The story takes place this past winter break. Riley, a fashion enthusiast, seized a few good […]